To err is human… (Bikez and Top 10)

To really screw up you need a computer. If that was really the case I would be so un human and completely not screwing up anything. A job change, turning my 3.5 mile commute into 10+ has screwed things up. My posting schedule got screwed in the process. The computer I was using got screwed in the process. My calendar with ideas got completely lost. Everything is in my phone now, so as long as I don’t lose my phone I’ll be ok. Even if I do lose my phone, it’s an Android and everything is in my G+/mail/gcal accounts. Now, for some reason, all the blogs I had scheduled and ready to post in my blogger queue either didn’t post on time (or at all) or went away.

I’ve been trying to get the GT setup for winter use because it’s fitted with the fat tires. Seems like the bottom bracket is crapping out on me. I really want to get the crankset swapped for the ones on my BMX so it’s a single chainwheel setup. I got a Surly Singulator, but I’m seriously considering putting it on the Peugeot. All my bikes are a mess of parts that barely work at the moment.

I’ll quit yapping and make with goofball pictures of bikes and top 10 lists.

Dirt frame, road wheels, and what the hell are those handlebars? It’s like someone mounted a thighmaster on there.

Technicolor hurl. It’s almost like the unholy union of the Walmart Fixie and a Rainbow Brite doll.

I almost wanted to like this one. Then I saw the brake lever. On the seat tube. For just pennies a day you could rescue this bike from its owner. Sell that aerojoke to some unsuspecting hipster, maybe even the OWS Hipster Cop. Move the brakes to the front, spoke cards to the trash or photo album. And a proper fitting. Whoever owns this bike is too damn tall for it.

Awww shit son. Kill it with fire.

 
Oh, the what this is done i even. The Cervelo can live. Kill this one with fire. Just everything.

Top 10 List

Artists

1. The Joy Formidable
2. Silversun Pickups
3. Saves The Day
4. Alcian Blue
5. Baroness
6. Primus
7. Parry Grip
8. High On Fire
9. Girl Talk
10. Asobi Seksu

Songs

1. The Joy Formidable – Cradle
2. The Joy Formidable – Austere
3. Parry Gripp – Doctor Who
4. Saves The Day – Through Being Cool
5. Grateful Dead – Touch Of Grey (played it once and it worked into my playlist every damn day)
6. Alan Parsons Project – Sirius/Eye In The Sky (Live)
7. NWA  - Straight Outta Compton
8. The Joy Formidable – The Greatest Light Is The Greatest Shade
9. The Joy Formidable – Whirring (Live)
10. The Joy Formidable – Llaw = Wall (Live at Koko)

And I’m out.

Top 10 Tuesday

Here are my top 10 tracks for the week according to last.fm.

1. NOFX – Don’t Call Me White
2. The Get Up Kids – Alec Eiffel
3. Explosions In The Sky – Your Hand In Mine
4. MXPX – Do Your Feet Hurt (Life In General Album Version)
5. MXPX – Chick Magnet (Live In General Album Version)
6. Braid – The Right Time
7. Braid – Do Over
8. Braid – You Are The Reason
9. Braid – Universe Or Worse
10. Samiam – Demon

And the Top 10 Artists…

1. MXPX
2. Explosions In The Sky
3. Alkaline Trio
4. Descendents
5. Grammatrain
6. Samiam
7. NOFX
8. Braid
9. Skillet
10. The Alan Parsons Project

The Broken Spoke and Sunday Rainout :(

Ever since the weather started cooling off I’ve been trying to get out for rides of longer time or distance. My big plans for this weekend were 10 miles on Friday night, 20ish on Saturday and another 10 to 15 on Sunday. I almost got in my 10 on Friday and then *ping!*

I should have known better but I set out Friday evening on my ride with a 25+ pound pack on my back. At the first set of railroad tracks I took it easy. The second set were fairly level and even. I forgot about how bad the third set was. I hit it at about 17mph and *ping,* wobwobwob*rub*wobwobwob*rub.*

Weird Bike Wednesday

Sorry guys, I screwed the pooch on that last Weird Wednesday. I’m going to give you a double dose today. I’ve been trawling the net for the worst bikes.

The “rebar” bike. It’s durable, unattractive to thieves and weighs a metric fark tonne. Seriously, why even bother with the lock. No one is going to steal this…unless you have somehow passed it off as art of value. Kidding aside, they made a fucking bike out of rebar. It’s actually kinda cool but still ugly as hell.

Why even bother. What are those, 16” maybe 20” wheels. It’s as tall as it is long. If you try to ride downhill in that configuration you are just as likely to go over the handlebars as you are to fall over. NEXT!

Tite Gapz. Dat seatpost. Dem bars. Dat step through frame. This is one seriously tall chick, delivering messages through the tightest traffic. I might see a light on the fork, but it’s red and those go on the back, where there appears to be another light, of the white persuasion, that goes on the front. Stupid hipsters.

What’s that, I laugh/I lose? Bumble Bee reporting for duty! More like dookie. Full suspension, shock absorbing seatpost, a rear mud guard, spd pedals, disc brake on the rear and a Spinergy road wheel. Looks like a 48 spoke rear, but it’s still got road tires. This bike was bred for playing in the dirt and then someone chopped off its feet and put it in a hovaround. And I just noticed the BALD EAGLE STICKERS FREAKING EVERYWHERE!!!

Torker, riser stem, zipp and no front wheel. I can’t see it, can you? It’s a camo aerojoke. For all your urban hipster hunting excursions.

I’ve really started to like this style of frame lately. The Leader 725 and the Cinelli Vigorelli specifically. Sad bars are sad. Those skinny, chopped bars just look droopy and sad. Radial lacing is fine on the front but the spokey dokies? And that seat. We’ve got like four or five shades of pink going on here.

Alrighty, back to making fun of people’s pride and joy in just a very few days. I set a reminder in my phone to not screw it up this next time.

Weird Bike Wednesday

While watching Britain by Bike I bring you a collection of weird ass bikes, assembled by what could only be described as well meaning but mislead bikers.

LoPro track frame, fitted with fenders and some handlebars that are just wrong.

Cruiser fitted with ape hangers? Sure, sounds good to me…

And then there’s this beast. LoPro, 700c deep-v, 650b aero, stickers (make you go faster) and a BMX stem and bars.

BRBLOLZ

After doing my April update on the GT rebuild I decided to fall off the planet in some sense. Of the many things I’ve been up to, riding has been the top. Even through the heat I was:

• consistently riding 25 miles a week (which is more than most people ride in a year)
• pursuing the rock and roll dream
• looking under rocks for elusive, unfound jobs
• training to be a roller derby referee
• procuring WTF pics of WTF bikes for an upcoming weekly series of WTF Wednesday.

For July and August I may have only pulled 200ish miles, but now that September has hit and we have had an average temp shift of 20 degrees the rides are going to get longer; out of boredom and to vent.

And now for a taste of WTF Wednesday:

This is “Pengy",” the bike that started it all. Lets start with what is right about it: nothing. Moving on. If you need the seat that low you probably need a smaller frame. The frame/wheel combination makes for OMG LONGBIKEISLONG. Riser stem with drop bars which accomplishes…? Aerojoke. Top tube protector. (Yes, I used a top tube protector this summer, more on that later). All this combines to make one massive collection of WTF.

GT Outpost (re)Build, pt. 2

Spring is here and after riding Pepe Le Peugeot all winter and being limited to roads and paved trails I decided it was high time to get to work on the GT (re)Build. But first we roll back to Spring of 2010:

What started as a 1990 GT Outpost “crossbike” is going to become a completely new animal. After sitting in my parents basement for nearly 16 years the Panaracer Smoke and Dart tires were completely dry rotted. Those were replaced with a set of Bontrager H2 slicks, new tubes and rim tape.

The derailleurs were either bent or broken and deemed unnecessary as the final project would be a single speed. The front derailleur was the first to go along with its shifter and cable. The rear was deemed somewhat important for the near future, at least as a chain tensioner. It’s cable and shifter were removed. A new chain was put on to replace the old, stretched out one.

So far the bike has lost about 4 pounds in parts and knobby tires. It’s shaping up to be a lean, mean, urban street fighting machine.

And now for the rest of the story:

So I spent the winter on this bike, “Pepe Le” Peugeot, and yes I know I’m mixing my Spanish and French.

A huge thanks to my friend Mike for hooking me up with it.

This is where and why the GT (re)Build was left to set for a few months.

You may notice the mismatched tires and wheels. The front wheel belongs with the bike. The rear wheel is borrowed from a NEXT Avalon full suspension beach cruiser. That bike is crap. Seriously, if you are going to spend $150 on a bike, please, do not go to your area big box superstore. Put an additional $50 with it and go to your local bike store and get a proper bike, not a hunk of aluminum with an assortment of plastic parts hung from it. <rant off>

The reason for the wonky rear wheel: a fine, upstanding gentleman in an oversized pickup truck spouted some polite words at me and threw a 20oz. bottle through my rear wheel. I gave him some choice words of my own. I would have gotten his license plate number but his “truck nutz” were blocking it. I had those spokes replaced and the wheel trued and about three weeks later was involved in an accident that pringled the front wheel, broke more spokes in the back, and broke both brake levers. All that by hitting a parking curb at less than 10 mph. I bounced and was very lucky because I bounced into a busy parking lot during business hours. My helmet and the extra layers of clothing saved my arse from a scraping. We now return you to “Teh (re)Build.”

On April 14th I got the itch to work on it. It might have been the ADD talking though. I got the GT out of storage, stole the wheels off the NEXT Avalon, put the Bontrager tires on the “good” NEXT wheels and gave them a basic true. Put them on the GT frameset and *poof* I find out that the handlebars and stem are bent.

--Look at that bend!

On a trip to the parts shed I remember that I have an old 90’s Dyno freestyle out there. I stole the headset and handlebars from it and put them on the GT and created what I call a “BigBMX” bike. But now the old brake cable won’t fit the Dyno’s brake lever. Back to the shed for the cable, swap it out, and after two hours of tinkering, removing the front cantilever brakes and general tuning the bike can go and stop. I was afraid the riser bars would be too tall but it makes for a rather pleasant riding position but I don’t expect to set any land speed records in this configuration

The only things really left to do are remove the extra chain rings on the front and get a rear wheel that is set up for single speed. So until next time, I leave you with these nearly complete photos of a 21 year old bike that has been beaten on trails, been a trusty companion for around town commuting and broke the 40mph mark:

May all your rides be downhill both ways,
NSM